Hunny....I think it's time!

That's a phrase I won't be getting to say. Kind of disappointing. I went for my check up yesterday seeing I am now a week overdue. My body has not progressed at all. Even though I've been having early labor signs for weeks, it hasn't done much in the way of getting me closer to going into labor on my own. So eating spicy food, sitting on the exercise ball, having sex, walking, jumping jacks, climbing stairs etc did nothing. Whatever..i tried at least! So after being checked, my midwife gives me the news. I'm going to have to be induced. I was really trying to avoid that ( hence them letting me go a week overdue before making any decision). Letting me go any longer at this point though is just not in the best interest of me or the baby. Sucks, sucks, sucks. So I have to push my wants and needs aside and do what's best for my son, and that's bringing him into the world as best as I can. Even if that means in a way that I don't necessarily want. So I'm sitting here waiting for the call. The one that tells me when to get to the hospital to get the show on the road. The one that is going to be the start of my new life.

I've been hearing that phrase for the past 9+ months..

"Your life is going to change". Well now I can actually say the past 10 months because I'm sitting here 5 days overdue. Apparently my baby boy is quite comfy where he is. Me, his mommy, not so much. Pregnancy, for me at least, was a pretty crazy, emotional, scary ordeal. My first pregnancy was when I was 22. I ended up having complications from the beginning and the baby never grew. They told me something was wrong with my uterus ( possibly septated) and that my chances of ever having a full term pregnancy were extremely low. I ended up with a D&C ( and apparently a fixed uterus without even knowing). When we decided to try for a baby, I had so much anxiety not knowing what would happen if and when i got that positive test. I didn't have time to really think of that though because 2 weeks after we made the decision...there were 2 pink lines staring up at me. Yes, it didn't even take a whole month. God we're fertile. Or have really good timing. As excited as i was, i couldn't help but freak out. In my head, i was a complete mess. "What if this baby didn't thrive either?". I didn't even have insurance...what the hell was I doing knocked up anyway? I'm not even married! Who let's themselves make these kind of decisions?!?!? Didn't matter...it was already done.

By the time i got an appointment to fill out paperwork and do an "official" urine test, i was a few weeks along. Before i could get to that appointment though I started spotting. "Oh God please not again. I can't go through another loss". Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the meltdown began. I rushed to the ER and had to wait....and wait..and wait. My boyfriend came to meet me and all he could say was "You know we're going to miss the season premier of Jersey Shore". *sigh* Men deal with stress in such weird ways. Finally I'm called back and they're going to do a sonogram. I'm laying down and can't see the screen or anything. The woman performing it has a blank face. I have no clue what she's looking at. I keep telling Gerry, my boyfriend, to look and tell me what he sees. I tell him "Look for the flicker...the flicker is the heartbeat. Do you see anything?". He looked at me and said the magic words "I see a heartbeat". Of course we had to coax it out of the woman to tell us. Oh and that septated uterus? Apparently she doesn't see sign of one. WHAT!?!? You mean to tell me, that the little baby that's in there is doing just fine?

It was...and still is. He still is. After 16 weeks of morning sickness, 2 bleeding episodes, 3 ultrasounds, 40 pounds, and countless nights of little sleep, here I sit waiting for my little man to arrive. Everyone keeps saying my life is going to change once he's born, but my goodness, it's been on that track for the past 10 months.